If tomorrow comes........

'That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet'

Is that what everyone thinks? Well, I think not.

My name, as simple as it is (once you know it), has been changed and renamed beyond recognition to me.What may this name be, you might say. My name is Shiji. I have been wondering about why my parents would name me that way but havent got a clue in these more than 20 odd years (age has been protected out of respect for the privacy of the author). Nobody gets my name in the first go. Well that is allright, I do not expect everyone to be a Malayali. Having been brought up in Mumbai, I have been surrounded by Gujuratis and Maharashtrians. For Gujuratis, I am Shriji. For Maharasthrians, I am Shivaji. Can you believe that? How can people turn Shiji into Shriji and Shivaji? (If you think that is bad enough, wait till you hear the different versions of my surname) And no matter how hard I try to tell them that it is not so, only makes them say it with all the more vigor. But then the point to be noted here is that both versions of my name are names of great people and I can take the compliment, however indirect it is.

Well to top that, all Indian names have a meaning to it. What do I make of Shiji?

People come to me and ask me, "Well allright, your name is Shiji but what does it mean?"

Me - "It does not mean anything."

People (with shocked disbelief) - "What do you mean by that? How can it not mean anything?"

It was allright back in India. But I have had people other than Indians coming and asking me that. It became so bad that I could stand it no longer. I had to go and try to find the meaning of my name. I mean after all this, how can I not have a significance to my name? I ask my family members what it means and they all laugh at me. They tell me that I am lucky they named me Shiji and not Kochumol or Soshammakutty or something.

After the support that I got from them, I tried googling my name and found that it meant something in Chinese. I had to go ask some Chinese friends at work to know it. It has a couple of meanings it seems. It could be 'fact' or also 'ancient'. So there, I am an ancient fact. Now how could I have overlooked that?

Emotions, according to me, should be locked up in a bottle. They should never be let out. If it is let out, all hell breaks loose. What I meant to say by this statement is that a human mind can go though so many different emotions at the same time. I guess one emotion leads to another and then another and the cycle continues.

Take a relationship for example. Most relationships start out with friendship, where you feel a sense of trust, sharing, a bonding with the other person. Then you may start feeling attracted to the person. Then maybe you start loving him/her. And you think that it is the end of it, coz then life will be happy ever after. But no. With love comes expectations. You expect the other person to do certain things or do things in a certain manner. You expect him/her to love you the way you do, think the same way you do or do the things you want them to do. This leads to fights, displeasure, arguments which may lead to a break up, pain, hatred and later indifference. Well it necessarily doesnt have to end that way but then what I am saying is that one emotion/feeling leads to another. It keeps going on, never ending.

But I think this is one characteristic which distinguishes us from all other living beings. And I am writing this post because some emotion has triggered me to come up with the thought that humans should be spared of any emotions possible.